Late again
Teacher: “Why are you late this morning?”
Student: “It’s my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!”
Teacher: “How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?”
Student: “There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven.”
A guy sees an advertisement in a pet-shop window: “Talking Centipede $100.”
The guy goes in and buys it. He gets home, opens the box and asks the centipede if he wants to go for a walk.
The centipede doesn’t answer, so the guy closes the lid, convinced he’s been swindled. Thirty minutes later he decides to try again.
He raises his voice and shouts, “Do you want to go for a walk?”
The centipede pokes his head out of the box and says,
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