Three women are lost in the forest while hunting.
She says, “I found tracks. I followed the tracks. I saw a deer. The deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped.”
The blonde leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue.
The others say, “Wow, where did you get that?”
She says, “I found tracks. I followed the tracks. I saw a train. The train ran. I shot. The train didn’t stop!!”
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A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle.
“Can you imagine, a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?”
When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, “What I’ve been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast.”
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