Researchers noted that men in midlife often become more interested in their professional relationships and emotional satisfaction rather than career success. Women, especially those in the midst of their career, often report that their lives are “first rate” and that they feel confident, engaged, and secure.
For women who put off or temporarily shelved professional ambitions to raise a family, the middle years can be their last chance to live out dreams and realize personal growth.
These changes can produce what is called a marriage role reversal, where the husband may need emotional support after a long day at work just to see his wife fully engaged in her professional pursuit. The wife, in turn, may expect the same level of encouragement and support that she provided when her husband’s career was the priority. This can produce frustration on both sides of the marriage. “For years, you complained that I wasn’t there enough,” one partner may complain. “Now that I am, you’re not there,” the other partner may retort. “I supported your career before—why can’t you support mine now?”
Sadly, the end result could turn out to be one of resentment and feeling trapped.
PexelsWhat Is Marriage Burnout?
In simple words, marriage burnout is a condition of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that happens when partners expect their marriage to meet all their needs, but instead, they repeatedly find out that it fails to do so. It is the result of a combination of high expectations, different types of stress life brings, and unmet needs. Eventually, episodes of dissatisfaction become more common, and what was once just a slight annoyance becomes a constant source of frustration.
People within a marriage who experience burnout tend to dwell on past mistakes, real or perceived, while feeling more and more hopeless and physically drained.
According to a study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, “marriage burnout is often a result of unrealistic expectations combined with accumulated life stress, which leads to emotional exhaustion and diminished intimacy.” Burnout does not manifest suddenly but is a slow process that often goes unnoticed until it reaches a critical point.
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