I had spent months preparing my daughter for her first airplane ride, including choosing the one seat that would help her feel secure. When that small source of comfort was taken from us, I believed walking away was my only option.
The evening before our trip, I sat cross-legged on the carpet in my daughter Emma’s bedroom, closing a small suitcase decorated with cloud stickers she had chosen herself.
It had been two years since her father, Sean, passed away.
This was the first time since then that I had allowed myself to plan anything that was not a medical appointment or a therapy session.
We were only going to the beach for four days.
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It sounded simple, but to me, it felt like scaling a mountain.
My six-year-old daughter was already asleep with her stuffed airplane tucked beneath one arm. She had named it “Buzz” the previous year, and from that day on, it had rarely left her side.
I remained on the floor for a moment, brushing my thumb across the cloud stickers on her suitcase.
“You’ve got this, Tina,” I whispered to myself. “It’s just a flight.”
My phone vibrated.
An email from the airline had arrived.
I read it quickly.
There had been an aircraft change for the following morning’s flight, and some passengers had been reassigned automatically.
I immediately checked our boarding passes.
Emma was still listed in seat 7A.
I was still in 7B.
The seats remained together, and most importantly, Emma still had the window.
It would be her first time flying.
I had reserved that seat four months earlier because Emma was autistic and needed the view outside to stay regulated.
Watching clouds move past the window, following the sunlight, and seeing the open sky often helped bring her back whenever she began approaching a meltdown.
“We’re good,” I told myself. “The window seat is still ours.”
The next morning, Emma stood beside me at the airport gate, pressing Buzz against her chest while staring through the glass at the enormous airplane outside.
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